I'm surprised and honored that my
little blog got some attention yesterday! This blog isn't even two
weeks old and I expected a readership of 10 people. You all blew me
away. I learned a few things from the comments and feedback. Thank
you all for your support and thank you for returning.
I'm going to switch gears quite a bit
and go back in time a dozen years to when I was first starting out in
this industry. I mentioned this story to some colleagues in passing
the other day and it deserves elaboration. Five words nearly killed
my dreams. Five words took my breath away, knocked me off my game,
bumped me to a new level of professional awareness, and forced me to
reevaluate my goals. The experience taught me a lesson in when rules
matter, and when bygones are forgotten.
“Banned from NASA for life.”
I was a sophomore in college (second
year in university, if you prefer) at the Florida Institute of
Technology, an hour south of Kennedy Space Center. I was the new
Editor-in-Chief for the student newspaper. This may seem unusual as I
was an astrophysics major, but they needed someone to fill the role
and I had done a decent job as the News Editor the year before, so
they appointed me in charge. I threw myself into the position.
On September 26, 2003, the Science &
Technology Editor and I attended a press site tour at Kennedy Space
Center. We were to see one of the orbiter processing facilities where
Atlantis was being refurbished. My colleague and I noted that we were
the only female reporters present. At 19, we were also the youngest
reporters present.
Working at NASA was my dream since
childhood. I moved from Pennsylvania to Florida without knowing a
soul down south because I wanted to get somehow involved at Kennedy
Space Center. I wanted to be near the action and the excitement. I
wanted to learn it all. I was still young. All I had done up to that
point was take a couple astronomy and mathematics courses, tour the
Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, see a few shuttle launches,
witness the aftermath of the Columbia accident, and spend a summer as
a low-level astronomy research assistant at a university. I was eager
to get into the game!
Two NASA officials escorted us to the
OPF to brief us and answer questions. We walked under the orbiter and
support structure, a jungle of platforms and pipes. I swear it took
me three full minutes before realizing that we were under Atlantis! I
snapped one picture after the other of everything I could, ignoring
the distrustful glares of our escorts. I was acting as photographer
for the story and I had a job to do.
We were ushered to the back of the high
bay where we could see a massive wall of construction and not much
else. We took turns climbing up a short set of stairs to see a low
platform better. I climbed up to see for myself what there was to
see, and was pleasantly surprised to actually see part of the side of
the orbiter visible. This was my first time seeing space hardware up
close!
Much to our delight, a familiar face
appeared. One of our recently graduated space news reporters had
gotten a job as an engineer for a space shuttle contractor and we
were so proud of him! He had known that we would be in the area and
found us. We chatted with him for a little while about the job and
the space program.
We followed the group back under the
shuttle tiles. To my embarrassment, I hadn't heard what it was that
the tour organizers were pointing at, so I asked our friend the new
space shuttle engineer. One of the NASA escorts broke in to our
conversation, yelled at us for talking to an employee, threatened our
colleague with the possibility of being fired, and pushed us towards
the exit.
We returned to the press site where we
picked up some informational packets and press photos before leaving.
As we drove home, my Science & Technology Editor and I discussed
how startled and distressed we were by the unexpected interaction.
Our space shuttle engineer colleague assured us that he was not under
threat of being fired because the NASA escort didn't have authority
over him, but I was still unsettled by the experience.
Two weeks later, right about when I put
the incident behind me and moved on, I was called into the office of
the director of communications for the university. He informed us
that the NASA press office had threatened to revoke the university's
press privileges for talking to an unauthorized employee, but instead
that had just banned my reporter colleague and I from NASA for life.
My heart dropped and I was shocked speechless. Banned for life? NASA
was my dream! This couldn't be, this just couldn't be.
It turned out that it wasn't to be, and
“for life” had a short lifespan. I never saw or heard from the
scolding NASA escort again. It wasn't even two years later that I got
my first NASA internship at Marshall Space Flight Center and my
banishment never came up during the selection and badging process. My
banishment has also disappeared from Kennedy Space Center's records,
never once stopping me from getting badged in all these years.
In my personal journal, I wrote: “I
know that twenty years from now I am going to look back and laugh,
but I admit I’m still in shock and will be for a while.” It
hasn't been 20 years and I can laugh at it already and share it with
you. I did learn some important lessons about how to conduct myself
in a professional environment when hosts are particularly jumpy.
I don't know if the lifelong banishment
mark was a scare tactic meant to frighten us straight or if it really
was a black mark in the file of a NASA press official who has long
since retired (for she was of retirement age 12 years ago). Whatever
the case, I'm grateful that the banishment never stuck. Not knowing
what I'd be allowed to do, I still moved forward with my dream of
working for NASA, determined not to let one negative experience stop
me. My dream was too important to me to let anything stand in my way.
19-year-old Laura standing under Atlantis |
I suspect this was one person acting a bit big for his britches. Who there would have the authority to ban someone for life? Not some NASA PR person, for sure. Much less taking the time to file that information with the badging people.
ReplyDeleteAs a 19-year-old, I was too scared to ask! I just assumed that whoever at NASA who issued the decree had the authority to do so. The university communications director took it seriously, and therefore so did I. But it appears you're right, they couldn't ban me after all.
DeleteI get banned from NASA daily.
ReplyDeleteHa! I don't doubt it. ;)
DeleteI'll try my best not to get banned, but i do have a big mouth.
DeleteWith all respect for all years of your fight, thank you.
I just recently got banned from
ReplyDeletehttp://spacenews.com/op-ed-we-need-to-expand-the-conversation-about-space/
I thought it was about expanding conversation ..
Well, i'm still young, not even 100 ;)
It happens. Ah yes, I read that piece. Can't say that I've heard of anyone getting banned from SpaceNews before, though I admit I usually avoid commenting on articles unless I feel very compelled to do so. There's no banning of anyone here on this blog except for internet spam.
DeleteThank you for that. I do my best to avoid too much repeating, but at times, it's required.
DeleteI'm not hiding much but my identity (not that hard to find), so if you have any questions, that would be a good start.
I'm not yet ready to connect my real name with that alias, i don't feel very secure at the moment, if you excuse my paranoia. That can change.
I'm also offering an apology to editors of www.spacenews.com, but i really couldn't take it any more.
DeleteIf that banning was intended to provoke me, it was a nice trick, thanks Jeff, your armour is covered with blood too, thank you for your trench fight, it will be remembered.