The Next Generations

 

Meet baby Jude, the newest little explorer of our family

Introducing my fourth child, space baby Jude Angelo, who launched into this world late Wednesday night, 2/2/22.

After the birth of my second child, an acquaintance advised me not to post personal updates on professional platforms such as LinkedIn, not even life-changing events such as the birth of a child. I didn’t fully understand at the time why that advice bothered me so much that I deliberately chose to do the opposite.

My third child was born early enough into the pandemic that it was still novel to get a peak into the personal lives of our colleagues working from home. I’d been working from home since 2014 and always felt the need to hide the fact that I had babies and young children as office companions over the years.

The rise of coronavirus-times work-at-home normality changed how we collectively perceive the office environment. While I still do my best to minimize noise and take calls away from the kids, I no longer feel hesitant to mention their existence in this home we share.

When my third baby was still young in late 2020 and early 2021, I held her during video calls and conference talks when I needed to, sometimes off camera but usually within view. I had taken my previous two babies to in-person conferences and business events in “the before times.” Holding a baby during a video meeting or talk was a natural extension of that willingness to be public about my working motherhood.

I’ve tried to keep this open mentality moving forward in my public/private life of inviting the world to view a sliver of my home office. I was giving a conference video talk a couple of weeks ago when my 6-year-old calmly walked into the office during the last 5 minutes of my talk and sat on the floor beside me off-camera. It was a sweet moment I treasured. It reminded me of all the times I’d hang out in my mom’s law office or when she was at court, observing her in a professional environment that no doubt influenced me.

I did not enter the space sector with a focus on the next generation. But bringing children into this world has naturally shifted my perspective to become more forward-focused. I want to progress humanity to the stars for the current generations but even more so for the next ones. I want to open the opportunities for everyone who comes after me.

With two, possibly three of my children being similarly disabled, I’m newly motivated to work toward a more inclusive world that won’t limit my children’s passions by their physical challenges. I want my kids, and all who feel called to look up, to be able to reach for the stars.

Choosing Motherhood on my Space Career Journey

 

When my first child was born, I posted a birth announcement on LinkedIn. I almost exclusively use LinkedIn for professional communications, but I felt something as monumental as becoming a mother was worth mentioning.

An acquaintance didn’t think so. He sent me a message that I shouldn’t post such things on a professional platform. Others may not take me as seriously if I post about my personal life, if I write about being a mother.

I took what he said to heart. Then I posted a birth announcement for my second child. Two weeks ago, my third child was born, and I proudly posted about her too. I no longer fear displaying my motherhood alongside my professional persona.

Throughout my adulthood, I have been fiercely enthusiastic in my pursuit of a space career. I have been equally enthusiastic in my pursuit of family life. The former was more within my control than the latter. I was able to form my space career in my 20s. It took until my 30s to begin my family life. Both are vital parts of my identity, intertwined and essential to who I am.

When I was in graduate school, I attended a space event where the mayor of a Florida Space Coast town struck up a conversation with me. The level of passion I had for my career surprised him. “Never marry and have kids,” he advised. In his limited view, doing so would be a detriment to my career and dampen my space passion.

He didn’t know I was watching my friends marry and have children with envy, longing for the day when I could do the same. He couldn’t fathom that a woman could have both a successful career and a strong family life. Many men and some women are hung up on this reality, yet never wondering how men can be fathers and have successful careers.

The coronavirus pandemic has changed much in our culture. With video calls becoming a new staple of our communications, we are seeing many colleagues and coworkers in their home environments. We are getting to know their pets and their kids. We are seeing them not just as professionals but also as whole people. We are thinking about our professional associates in a new way and becoming more accepting of who they are in their entirety. We are normalizing a fuller version of humanity.

I was never shy about broadcasting my motherhood. Just days after giving birth, my firstborn accompanied me at a space industry event. I nursed her in a wrap while networking with space professionals. I have taken my first two babies to conferences, meetings, and lectures, even giving talks with baby in arms. My fortunate firstborn lived in Florida for the first few months of her life, meeting a few astronauts and seeing several rocket launches that she’ll never remember.

I’ll never forget the young woman who approached me in the parking lot after that space event as I was nursing my 18-day-old baby. She thanked me for bringing my baby and for normalizing motherhood in a male-dominated industry. She was just the first. Many people since have thanked me for being a mother so publicly in my professional life. One man remarked that hearing baby sounds at a conference reminded him of life and why we do what we do.

Space exploration provides a unique perspective on long-term thinking. We naturally think beyond our own lives and our own generation to what we can accomplish as a human species for decades and centuries and millennia to come. Our children, individually and collectively, represent this future. They are what we are working towards. They are who we are doing this for. They are the ones who will continue this effort after we are gone.

One day, a descendant of mine will step foot on another planet. A descendant of mine will live on a deep space exploration vehicle. A descendant of mine will accomplish feats in the Universe unimaginable to us now.

It starts with a baby. It continues with humanity going where no one has gone before.

Working From Home With Kids

Balancing a laptop and a sleeping newborn in my lap

With many people working from home and a more general acceptance of employees being full human beings with families and personal interests, I’d like to discuss my experience working at home with young kids.

“The ability to work with young children at home is zero,” claims a popular tweet posted a couple weeks ago as many companies and institutions in the United States temporarily shifted to encouraged or mandatory work-at-home status for many of their employees.

I assure you, it’s not zero. I’ve been working at home with young children for 4 years. In this time, I’ve created and run a small business, traveled for conferences and other business trips, helped organize conferences and events, taken on additional pro bono work, written and published a book, and cared for two young children. Without childcare or local family to assist.

Here are my tips to help with working from home with kids, which may or may not resonate with you:

• Embrace the flexibility of working from home.
• Embrace kid interruptions.
• Encourage your kids to become independent.
• Take advantage of quieter times.
• Accept help if you can.
• Accept that some days are really, really hard.
• Have fun!

Embrace the flexibility of working from home

So many work-from-home guides encourage keeping a strict office schedule, only working in a home office, avoiding house chores during the day, and other strategies to emulate the office environment at home. That seems to work for many people. That does not work for me.

I proudly defy most conventional work-from-home advice. I encourage you to embrace the flexibility working at home offers. You can work from anywhere. Any piece of furniture or even standing up or walking. From any device or platform (desktop, laptop, phone, tablet, even a pen and paper if that’s your thing). In any room. Even outside in your yard or out-and-about. A working environment does not need to be constrained by the office life you’re used to.

Most of the time, you can also work when you want. There may be immovable telecons, phone calls, deadlines, and others’ schedules. But outside of those constraints, your time is yours to plan the way you’d like. If you’re a morning person, embrace the quiet still of the morning and be productive at 5 AM. If you’re a night owl like me who sleeps in as much as motherhood allows, embrace the quiet still of the night. Some days, I’m in the zone at midnight and can work for a couple hours at home at a time not conventionally seen as a time to work in an office.

Flexibility of schedule also means you can break up your day as you please. In an office, you may take breaks to grab a snack, use the bathroom, strike up a conversation with a coworker, take a walk, and whatever else you need to do to recharge. At home, you have even more flexibility to take a breather during the day when you need to. Don’t feel guilty for not working 8 hours straight at home; you’re a human, not a machine. Life is more than just working.

Embrace kid interruptions

Young kids will need you. Depending on the child, the situation, and the home environment, some kids are more in need of help and attention than others. This may seem incompatable with work, but with practice, you can work around these interruptions. See above: your time is flexible. A coworker may interrupt you at any time in an office setting. Your kids are your coworkers and they provide you with breaks from work throughout the day.

My 2-year-old is still in diapers so I expect breaks for multiple diaper changes throughout the day, usually not on my schedule. The kids need to eat, so I feed them when I eat: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks throughout the day. My 4-year-old usually fetches her own snacks when she’s hungry. I also provide them with drinks throughout the day.

When they need me, depending on the nature of the need and what I’m currently working on, I either pause work immediately to care for them or find a good time to pause my work before caring for them. Coincidentally, I was in the middle of writing the previous sentence when my 2-year-old asked me for a drink refill. It’s not an urgent need, so I will pause my writing to refill all our drinks at the end of this paragraph, so, now.

Breaks can also be for fun rather than for need. Enjoy time with your kids. Give them your attention when you can. Play with them. It doesn’t need to be long, just a few minutes. Or perhaps you can spare an hour to do an activity with them or to take a full afternoon off. Even just a few minutes here and there helps to reconnect throughout the day.

Encourage your kids to become independent

The ability for your kids to occupy themselves independent of you depends on their age, their personality, and your home environment. Where at all possible and safe, allow your kids to play or work independently while you work. Depending on their age and inclination to get in trouble, you can be in the room with them or allow them to be elsewhere without you.

Both my kids have been very independent from a young age. I’d even call my 4-year-old fiercely independent. Neither has ever had any problems entertaining themselves. Whether this is innate within their personalities or just how I raised them, I’m not sure. But it sure helps to get work done when I don’t need to divide my attention too much.

This doesn’t mean I work as if my kids don’t exist. I almost always work in the same room where my 2-year-old is playing. I keep an eye on him with my laptop in front of me. I prefer to watch both my kids in the same room, but this usually isn’t the case. My 4-year-old, as independent as she is roaming the house, is also endlessly curious and very clever with a tendency to get into things she shouldn’t, so I take breaks to check up on her frequently.

How would this work if my kids were older? Your parenting styles and education philosophies likely differ from mine, but I’ll offer my viewpoint anyway: we embrace adult-facilitated student-directed home education, often called unschooling. Home education does not need to look like school at home. Trust that your kids are learning all the times and especially learning when they are self-directed and engaged in an activity or topic that is interesting to them. Under normal circumstances, we take our kids out into the world to learn from the world and from other people. But even at home, we have books, toys, iPads, TVs, activities, and the endless resources of the internet.

Babies are understandably the most in need of your time and attention. Maternity leave is truly needed after a baby is born. I do not expect to get much work done in August when my third baby is expected. Parents with young babies need to be the most gentle with themselves about how much work they can realistically accomplish. Some babies sleep long stretches or are content to exist without much direct attention. Neither of my babies were like this. My babies were constantly attached to me. In those early months, I used voice diction or typed with one hand, used my phone more than my laptop, warned people about my baby-in-arms during calls, napped throughout the day, and set low expectations for my own productivity.

Take advantage of quieter times

When my kids were younger, they used to nap more frequently. There were times I struck gold and both napped simultaneously! I took advantage of those quieter times to really focus on work that needed my undivided attention.

More often, I find the quiet freedom of late nights when I’m still awake and can work while activity in my house has stopped and activity online (email and social media) is minimal. My husband, for the same reason, works his side project in the very early morning hours before the sun has risen and the hustle of the day has begun.

Accept help if you can

Many work-from-home parents have spouses, other family members, babysitters, or other childcare options they can take advantage of to give them more time for focused attention on work. If you have someone who can help you watch the kids, for your own sanity, I encourage you to accept.

Because of the circumstances of our family, only my husband and I watch our kids. Usually he works from home on Wednesdays which gives me a little more freedom to step away to be by myself on Wednesdays. Currently, he’s working from home indefinitely, which allows us to share parenting responsibilities even more than usual. There have been times when I’ve needed to leave him with the kids in the evenings or on weekends for an hour or two while I go off to another area of the house to work.

Accept that some days are really, really hard

This is not easy. This is seemingly impossible when you’re first thrown into it. I had the advantage of working from home before I had kids so I could set my own routine and slowly figure things out as my first child grew. For parents abruptly put in the position of caring for kids while working from home during a stressful time, this is going to be a very difficult transition. Don’t beat yourself up.

Even for an experienced work-from-home mom, some days are about survival. I had a challenging first couple of months this year with my 4-year-old. Some days all I could do was the bare minimum of work while I tried to keep my sanity. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself.

But some days just fly by in a zone of low turbulence, checking one task off the list after another, making extensive progress on a project, and keeping the kids and myself alive and happy. Those are the days when I know I can do this. And you can too. Maybe not now, under the current circumstances. But maybe one day.

Have fun

My favorite work-from-home memories of last year were watching the kids play in the backyard in the warm months of the summer and early autumn while I wrote my book using voice dictation on my phone.

Yesterday, with business slow and my mind distracted with the troubles of the world, I took some hours “off” in the afternoon to garden in the backyard with my 4-year-old. I checked email on my phone every so often, but mostly, I was out enjoying nature with my daughter.

I watch rocket launch livestreams with my kids nearby (who often aren’t interested, but I try) and talk with them about my work frequently. I truly enjoy being with my kids every day and I enjoy building a business in the career I love.

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to work from home with my kids. I wish everyone could experience this in a positive way as I’ve been able to.

Science Talking with Babe in Arms

Baby Leo after the Dahlonega Science Festival, March 24, 2018

When my firstborn was a baby, I made the decision to continue with my career rather than to give it up, pause, or hide. Since I was exclusively breastfeeding and she didn't take to the bottle, this meant taking her out to professional events and activities when she was quite young. I had never seen a professional bring their baby to a business event before, although I had noticed their spouses would sometimes show up with kids. Babies in a professional environment are very rare in our culture, from what I've seen in the space industry.

I started small. At just a few weeks old, I took my daughter to two space meeting evening receptions. Encouraged, I took her to a local conference. At five months old, I took her on business travel with me to an out-of-state conference. Although it was challenging at times, I made it work.

Once she started to become more mobile, keeping her contained became too much for me to handle. But by that point, she also became more independent of me, eliminating the need for me to take her everywhere with me.

Taking my baby son with me wasn't even a question when he was born. I knew I could do it. But a new question arose: could I give a talk while holding a baby?

When I was invited to be a panelist on a panel about space travel for the Dahlonega Science Festival in north Georgia, I knew my two-month-old baby was too young to stay at home. I informed the organizers I would be bringing him. I half expected them to rescind their invitation. I was once uninvited to a meeting when I informed the organizer I would be bringing my baby daughter, so my fear wasn't unfounded.

I was surprised - shocked even - when the response back from the Science Festival organizers was not one of distancing but one of welcoming. Sonny went above and beyond to accommodate me by look into baby changing facilities and areas where I could have privacy if I needed it. He even surprised me by gifting us a "future astronaut" onesie after the panel talk. My fellow panelists also welcomed our youngest contributor. I felt at ease and a sense of belonging.

As for my baby, he was easy. He alternated between nursing under a blanket and sleeping in my arms. Not once was he disruptive. Things couldn't have gone better.

A huge thank you to Sonny and the rest of the Dahlonega Science Festival organizers and my fellow panelist for welcoming a working mother and her baby! These small acts encourage me to continue doing what I do, and they hopefully encourage other women to participate in these events, with or without babies.

Speaking on the space travel panel at the Dahlonega Science Festival, March 24, 2018

Space Baby #2 Coming Soon

This space is dedicated to my adventures in space, but I also have adventures in other areas of life. Today I'd like to introduce you to our second child, Leonardo Nicholas, expected to enter this world in late January.

Leonardo is inspired by brilliant scientist, inventor, and artist Leonardo da Vinci. And because I worked on International Space Station research, the ISS multi-purpose logistics module Leonardo also came to mind. Only after my husband and I agreed on the name did I learn that Leonardo is my husband's favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Nicholas is in memory of a family member gone but not forgotten.

Assuming all goes according to plan, I'll be taking a few weeks off in January and February, to be determined. I'll also have more take-a-space-baby-to-work stories to share next year. We're so excited for our next adventure with two space youngins!

December 21, 2015: New Life For Rockets & Humans

This is not the SpaceX launch on Dec. 21, 2015; this was July 18, 2016. But still pretty.

I remember the evening of December 21, 2015 well. The winter solstice brought new life into my world with the birth of my daughter Josephine on December 20. As I stepped foot into motherhood, the space industry stepped foot into a new era of reusable rocketry.

It has been a guessing game for spectators up to that point: will SpaceX succeed in launching a Falcon 9 rocket to orbit and successfully land a spent booster back on the ground, upright, asking to be refurbished and reused? Before each launch, probabilities were discussed and bets were taken. And each time, we watched with disappointment as our collective hopes ended in a fiery collapse.

But maybe this time was different. Past technological successes proved that it was feasible. Blue Origin, Masten Space Systems, NASA, and others had demonstrated launch and landing of a vertical rocket. But this was the first orbital attempt of its kind, the first time a rocketeer dared to direct a spacecraft to circle the Earth, make a delivery, and return intact to Earth where it left minutes before.

Space is always in my heart and on my mind. I had not forgotten about the rocket launch in my sleep-deprived new mom hustle. I barely knew what day it was, but I knew the exact time SpaceX was scheduled to launch from Cape Canaveral, Florida. However, from my hospital room in Melbourne an hour south from the launch activity, I was barely aware of what time it was! Exhausted and in love, I cuddled my newborn and counted down the hours until the hospital would release us home.

A passenger in my husband's car as we drove north on US-1, my primary concern was comforting my passionately upset daughter who I would soon learn hated everything about car rides. Through the baby's screams and my brain's own screams for rest, I noted the time and looked east. There was the fireball rising in the dark night sky, ascending more quickly than I could capture it with my phone's camera. The result was a blurred image with an equally bright streetlight detracting from the photo's brilliant subject. Normally I would have been bummed to miss photographing a launch, but at that moment, it was far down on my list of priorities.

Time was lost to me again as we arrived home. I unbuckled my tiny daughter from her car seat and lifted her above the driveway of her new home. And I heard it: two sonic booms. I quickly checked the news on my phone and cheered – they had done it! The SpaceX team had successfully landed the first stage Falcon 9 booster back down at Cape Canaveral. I, and to a limited extent my one-day-old child, had witnessed history being made. Knowing me, I probably cried a little at the beauty.

I ask you, is it too much to call this new era of rocket reusability the era of Josephine?

What I Learned Taking a Baby to a Professional Conference (Part 2)

I took 5-month-old Josephine to an informal professional networking event last night and reminded myself that I still had yet to write about our adventures at an out-of-state conference together last week. Rest and catch-up are top priorities after returning from travel. Now I can reflect on the positive and negative of bringing a baby to a professional conference.

Working and playing, as well as we can together.

Community Support

I had a lot of fears about being a working mother after I gave birth to my daughter and it became clear that she was too young to be away from me for long. I worried that I would be seen as less than professional if I brought her with me. I expected negative or inappropriate comments. I would not have been surprised if people had asked me to leave when they saw me with a baby. Babies don't belong in work environments, right?

My fears were the furthest from the truth. Every time I brought my baby, I was welcomed with open arms. Colleagues and new acquaintances loved meeting her and watching her grow. Young women and older men thanked me for bringing her. Only once was I asked not to attend a meeting with her, a rare exception to the warm welcome she's received. She's an instant star no matter where I go. The one downside is that on occasion, colleagues are more interested in talking about her than about business!

The way I saw it, I could either bring my baby with me or stay home, out of sight. Bringing her to one day of the local Space Congress was a test. Taking her on a plane to Colorado, without my husband, for a 3-day conference to the Next-generation Suborbital Researchers Conference in Broomfield, Colorado was the real deal! How would she behave? How would others react? Would I be able to attend the conference talks at all?

I was overwhelmed with the generosity, encouragement, and support from the conference staff and attendees! From the moment we arrived, others offered to hold her, play with her, give her toys (conference swag), and take care of her. Conference staff made her a special name badge. She attracted conference attendees like a magnet. One man thanked me for bringing her because her sounds during the talks lessened the seriousness of the atmosphere and reminded him of home and humanity.

Baby Genius - All Star!

The Noise

There's no way around it: babies make noise and there's no quieting them. I knew that I would be in and out of talks. I just hoped that I would be in more than out.

I lucked out with a relatively mellow baby. She doesn't cry all that much, but she does have her moments. She wasn't feeling well on Friday afternoon, so I hid in the bathroom for a long time, hoping the thick doors would dampen her screams. But worse, I didn't have my phone or laptop because I couldn't return to the conference ball room with a screaming baby to retrieve them, my feet were hurting me in brand new dress pumps, and there were no restroom chairs, so I sat barefoot on the floor not even knowing the time while she screamed and screamed. Eventually she did calm down and we reemerged. Aside from that outburst, screaming fits were rare.

More common were little baby grunts from learning to crawl and play and “songs” from learning to use her voice. When those got too loud and persistent, I needed to leave the room. Sometimes I would walk with her along the back wall by the door, leaving when she was loud and returning when she had quieted. In and out, in and out. While this certainly is not an ideal way to hear talks, I was able to pick up bits and pieces of conversation this way.

Most of the time, she was quiet enough for me to be in the room. Especially when she napped in my lap! During those periods, I could focus on the speakers and pretend I was attending a conference as usual. Except that I was in the back of the room sitting on the floor next to toys, usually.

Conference swag makes for good toys.

Baby Wearing

I wore my baby in her wrap less often than I expected to. There were times when it made sense, such as during a tour of a nearby company's facilities where we'd be walking a lot. I opted not to bring a stroller to the airport, instead wearing her around the terminal. However, during the conference talks, mostly we were sitting down. I tried sitting with her in my lap, but she got bored quickly. Instead, I laid a baby blanket on the ground and let her play with toys independent of me as much as possible. Outside of talks, she would be passed from person to person so much that it didn't make sense to attach her to me. I'm glad I brought the wrap and I did use it frequently, but she wasn't attached to me at all times.

Baby hanging out on the tour.

Hotel Sleeping

I have difficulty sleeping in a strange place. So, it seems, does my baby. We didn't have our normal routine and sleep aids such as her swing, so sleep didn't come as naturally to her. It was a struggle each night to get her to stay asleep. Usually I succeeded an hour or two after her usual bedtime.

I opted not to bring her crib, instead allowing her to sleep in the king-size bed with me. At home, her crib is right next to our king-sized bed so she spend half the night in her bed and inevitably half the night in ours. Co-sleeping works well for us. I didn't even think twice about keeping her in the bed with me while on travel.

Sleeping on my lap.

Brave, Hero and Supermom

I was called all these things for bringing a baby to a conference. I am none of them. I am simply a working mom who loves my career and loves being with my child. I find it interesting that in our culture, we would see this behavior as something to be praised highly with descriptions such as brave, hero, and supermom. In my opinion, this only points to the need to combine maternity and career for new moms and make what I did common.  

Thanks for bringing me along, mom!

Lessons Learned Attending a Professional Conference with a Baby (Part 1)

I will be writing a separate entry about the science and updates learned from Space Congress in Cape Canaveral this week. But I felt it was important for me to write on this topic first. 

I've never seen a baby at a professional conference before. Prior to having my own baby, it never would have occurred to me that a mother would choose to take her child with her. Now that I have a baby of my own who refuses a bottle, my only choices are to participate in my profession with the baby or not participate at all. Yesterday, I chose to stand out from the crowd.

I didn't know how anyone would react to my presence with the baby. Worst case scenario, I thought I'd be denied entry or asked to leave. Second-worst case, I thought the baby would scream, causing me to miss most of the conference I paid for. I didn't know if anyone would stare at me or make a negative comment about how unprofessional or disruptive it was to bring a baby. I prepared to defend my choice, if necessary.

Fears are usually all in our head. Not only was I welcomed with the baby, I received so many compliments! By the end of the day, at least four people told me that they hadn't heard a peep from her and she was the most well behaved baby they had ever seen. It's not that she didn't make a peep, it's that I contained her well. She kept me on my toes!

I learned a new wrap style for the occasion: outward facing carry. I still wrap her in a sling style when nursing discretely, but my 5-month-old no longer wants to face my chest. She wants to see the world! The outward facing wrap is the most secure wrap style I've learned yet and was truly hands-free. It was perfect for times when I needed to walk around and mingle such as during the talk breaks and exhibit hall networking.

To my surprise, I did not spend all of my time standing and bouncing her along the wall. Instead, I found a back corner away from foot traffic and closest to the bathroom. There I laid out a small blanket and some toys, plugged in my laptop, and sat on the floor to listen and work. It was ideal! I may have looked silly to others, but this really was the best possible arrangement. The baby kept herself well occupied, I could work without holding her or constantly moving her active hands away from my laptop, and we were completely out of the eyesight of all conference attendees except those walking along the back of the room.

Playing with the conference swag on the floor. - May 25, 2016

In retrospect, it was a wise move on my part to wear pants instead of the cute pencil skirt I had wanted to wear. Sitting on the floor with legs in any direction would not have worked well in a skirt or dress. It was also smart of me to wear a cowl neckline.

Listening to the conference speakers uninterrupted only happened when the baby was napping. Unlike a normal day, she only dozed off for short periods of time – no long naps. Applause would wake her, usually just for a moment, but sometimes stirring was enough to snap her out of her slumber. As a result, at no time was I away from my baby and able to attend the conference as a normal professional except when two of the college-aged conference volunteers asked to hold her.

I was able to attend all of the conference talks (except when I stayed in the exhibit hall for too long during a break). Even though I was in and out a lot, I was able to get a lot out of attending. I live tweeted and I took notes. I got the gist of the conversation. I was surprised at how much of the conference I could actually attend.

As someone put it yesterday, a baby and a dog in a crowd have similar outcome: people flock to you for the cuteness. A baby is an effective networking aid. Colleagues and strangers alike approached to meet the baby and, secondarily, me. She was a natural conversation starter. The one negative was that because time was short and the baby was easy to talk about, I didn't talk as much “shop” as I would have liked. Part of that was also the fault of the conference schedule: too few and too short breaks. I had hoped that the 6:00 networking session would make up for it, but by that point, the baby had had enough and it was time to go home.

Josephine on a Journey to Mars. - May 25, 2016

Overall, taking my baby with me to a professional conference was a success. I tear up when I think of how supportive my space community is. So many positive comments and words of encouragement! I want to thank every one of you who helped me to get over my fear of negative judgment and do what works best for us. I feel so blessed to have such beautiful people in my life.

This local conference was practice. The test is next week's three-day out-of-state conference. Stay tuned!

Also, Josephine got to meet her fifth astronaut and take additional photos with ones she had already met. And she went to Mars!

Curious Josephine hanging out with Curiosity rover. - May 25, 2016

Career Sacrifices: No Tours for Me

My nearly 5-month-old refuses to take a bottle. She used to, now she doesn't, preferring to scream and starve if given the option. And in fact she did go on a hunger strike for around 8 hours when I left her with my husband for a day, which is how we made this discovery. Therefore, I cannot be physically apart from my baby for more than 2 hours without feeling exceptionally bad for the adult caring for her (i.e., my husband).

I am given the choice to participate in my profession with my baby or opt out. I've been choosing to participate when I can. I'm just as competent, passionate, and ambitious in my career with my baby as I was before. However, there are limitations to what I can do at the moment. Some plans are on hold. Others are delayed or take more time. And some opportunities, as much as it pains me, must be sacrificed.

I have sacrificed two conferences/meetings this year and was ready to sacrifice a third before I jumped on-board with the planning committee to help out. I love this particular conference, and although I was prepared to miss it, I really didn't want to. So, I committed, with my baby. In 15 days, I'll be on a plane to Denver, traveling with my child and no other adult, determined to make this work during the three-day conference.

I won't be able to participate as widely as I usually do. I'm willing to sacrifice the opportunity to listen to every speaker or to hear every word coming from their mouths. I've already sacrificed the chance to present a poster because it would be too much to handle with the baby. I'm willing to sacrifice networking time if I need to change a diaper instead. I'm prepared to leave for the airport earlier and set aside more time to allow myself to eat. I know I'll sacrifice sleep; that goes without saying for the parent of a young one. And, unfortunately, I'll need to sacrifice special opportunities to see things I may not ever get the chance to see again.

I got excited when I saw the news: a chance to tour Ball Aerospace! Cool! I'm a visual learner. I learn by seeing and by doing. I jump on the chance to take tours, to experience the atmosphere around the work being done, and to ask question after question of the tour leaders. I'm their favorite kind of visitor because I'm engaged, learning, snapping photos (when allowed), tweeting, and getting the word out. I soak it up.

But the baby. How could I take a tour with the baby? They probably wouldn't allow me to bring her because of safety standards or some other policy. What if I need to walk her away from the crowd to calm her down? What if she spits up over their equipment? What if I need to do an emergency diaper change? In a hotel banquet hall, I can take care of her. On a company's secured property, it would be a lot harder. Could I even safely take her on the tour bus without the car seat anchored to the vehicle?

Sadly, I decided to sit that one out. But then, a second tour! This one of Sierra Nevada Corporation's facilities. And oh, how I wanted to go. I thought about it, thinking of how I could make it work. I even started composing an email asking if I could bring her. But the same issues arose again and again in my head. I just can't.

Usually, I'm all about asking forgiveness rather than permission. But in these cases, even I don't think I can justify asking permission. As a working mother, I make sacrifices for my child. This is one of them.

How do other women do it?

Take My Kid to Work, and to Work-Related Play, Every Day

Today is Take Your Kid to Work Day in the United States, and unofficial day originally created to expose girls to the workforce. As a work-at-home mom, every day is Take My Kid to Work Day for me. And I do take Josephine everywhere – meetings, networking events, science fairs, even workshops and conferences. Even if I worked outside of the home, I'd still take her with me to work from time to time, no special day needed.

I was invited to a space networking reception yesterday at Exploration Tower in Cape Canaveral. It began at 5:00 and my husband wasn't even home from work yet, so I took my baby with me. I still don't know if or how many people may judge me for bringing a baby to a professional event, but at this stage of my life, I just don't care. My baby is well behaved and people love her. She's a natural conversation starter and ice breaker. To date, no one has said anything negative to me about bringing my baby along, but many people have been grateful I did. One other person did bring their kid with them, but she's college-aged!

Mommy and baby at the reception - April 27, 2016

Josephine met her fourth astronaut yesterday, the Director of NASA's Kennedy Space Center, Bob Cabana. He immediately took her in his arms and cuddled with her, calling himself the baby whisperer. His eyes shone as he talked about his upcoming visit to see his grandchildren. It was so sweet.

Astronaut #4 on Josephine's list: the baby whisperer. - April 27,2016

Unfortunately, no one told me that there would be a very, very long stretch of talking and presentations in the middle of this party! First the reception host spoke. Then Bob Cabana spoke about the workforce at KSC and NASA's Journey to Mars. Then KSC's Director of Planning and Development spoke. Then one, possibly two other people spoke. My baby can be quiet, but not for that long. I eventually had to take her to the next room where we bonded with the catering staff. Josephine had a giggling fit that apparently could be heard in the next room – oops – but no one minded, I was told.

Floor time near the wall before it got crowded. - April 27, 2016

Josephine eventually fell asleep on my shoulder as I wrapped up networking and said my goodbyes. As someone who works from home, it's nice to get out and about to see my colleagues and meet new acquaintances. And so long as I can, I'll take my child with me.

Baby Josephine Congratulates SpaceX!

One more excited and adorable entry today: Baby Josephine congratulates SpaceX on a successful launch, landing, and Dragon deployment to the International Space Station. And congratulations to Bigelow Aerospace for finally launching the Bigelow Expandable Activity Module (BEAM)!

Josephine's a little distracted during the launch. - April 8, 2016

Adding cuteness to your launch experience. - April 8, 2016

As for my close-up launch shots, I need to learn how to properly use my new telephoto lens. A night launch and a day launch have been foiled by my inexperience with it so far! I'll shoot the next one.

Baby at the Science Fair

For the third year, I was honored to return to my undergraduate alma mater, Florida Institute of Technology in Melbourne, to judge the space sciences senior projects. Some of these students have been working on their research for just a semester, while others have been learning and refining their project over the course of their undergraduate career. I love meeting the students and learning about their research, which does change from year to year!

I was really rushed in recording my vlog at the event, so I want to summarize the projects here. The nine that I learned about from the students' mouths today were (in the numerical order they were assigned):

The Small Extreme-Contrast Ratio Imaging Telescope which uses the charge injection device (CID) technology that I learned about when evaluating International Space Station science proposals. (A CID was approved to fly on ISS, currently scheduled for June.)

A look at the closest and brightest quasar's quirky jet as seen from the Hubble Space Telescope in optical and X-ray.

A look at why cosmic rays hitting Earth aren't isotropic but instead concentrated in one area of the sky, as seen by two neutrino detectors.

A model to understand the planetary orbital resonances of exoplanets observed by Kepler.

A model to understand the spectroscopy (energy emitted) of regolith (dirt) on planetary bodies without atmospheres, including asteroids, with a particular look at porosity (how densely packed or how many holes there are in the grains). This is one of the many steps in a project I've been assisting with.

An examination of protein fiber growth that returned from flying on the ISS, another project I learned about when I did ISS research evaluation. It was nice to learn about the results of that experiment!

A look at the magnetic field of a massive O-type star as seen from a telescope in Hawaii.

Scale testing of the mirror deployment of the James Webb Space Telescope which should launch in 2018. Got to make sure those mirrors deploy perfectly in space!

A model to understand three-body resonances in exoplanetary systems as observed by Kepler.

My co-judge, baby Josephine, was with me this year. This would be her third time on Florida Tech's campus. We attended the Showcase reception together last night. She was also on the campus of the University of Central Florida in Orlando with me yesterday. We visited the Center for Microgravity Research, my former lab, the group responsible for the payload that flew on Blue Origin recently. Baby Josephine will continue her university tour later this month when we visit Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach.

Josephine and I at UCF visiting my former lab - April 7, 2016

Josephine and I posing with the panther at FIT - April 7, 2016

My co-judge squirming out of her wrap at the Science & Engineering Showcase at FIT - April 8, 2016

Sciencing It Up with Baby at the Business Table

I'm beginning to be a little more open about something I've mostly kept quiet about: I work at home with my baby. This may not be surprising if know that my baby is young, just 3 months old. My two-week maternity leave coincided with the Christmas and New Year holidays, and I've been working part-time ever since. I'm no stranger to working at home. I worked at home in my previously job and only drove into the office when it made sense to. I love working from home and feel that I'm more productive and happier here than in an office environment. Plus, it's a big money saver: no daycare costs, no commute, and no office lease. It's not for everyone, but it is for me.

With one exception that I've already already written about, I separate myself from my baby when I attend professional gatherings. Any time I've gone out as a professional for a meeting, workshop, or lecture, I leave the baby at home. Thankfully, my husband also has the freedom to work from home occasionally. Part-time daycare doesn't exist here and we haven't interviewed any babysitters yet, so we've been fortunate that either one or the other of us can watch the baby during working hours.

Yesterday, it just so happened that a meeting I had was at the same time as back-to-back meetings my husband had. My choices were to either cancel or take her with me. I strapped her in the car and brought her along for the ride. Josephine's first science meeting!

I can understand the disruption that some babies might cause. There might be screaming so loud and continuous such that conversation is futile. There might be banging of toys or shaking of rattles. There might be babbling. There might be smells.

At this time, my baby is pretty easy-going. When I wrap her to me, she discretely eats and sleeps. When she's unwrapped, she looks about and stares. She might start softly complaining, but I can quiet her pretty easily now (until 10 PM when she's overly tired and just won't sleep). The biggest disturbance she causes is just by being cute and drawing the attention of those around her.

The meeting yesterday at my alma mater, Florida Institute of Technology, was productive. University faculty and students met with NASA Kennedy Space Center scientists and myself in an effort to move forward with a Martian regolith biochemistry experiment. We got to check out the huge vacuum chamber that NASA KSC gifted the university, currently being refurbished. Martian regolith simulant will be processed in Martian atmospheric conditions. Separate temperature and humidity controlled containers will house crop experiments in the Martian simulant soil. It'll be fun!

Florida Institute of Technology's NASA vacuum chamber, in progress - March 24, 2016

A decade ago, I walked those halls carrying a backpack filled with science books, notes, and dreams. Yesterday, I walked those halls carrying a baby, a bit of science expertise, and even bigger dreams. How times change!

For her part, Josephine did just great on her first trip to a college campus. She was quiet, attentive, and only had one moment of projectile spit-up as we were heading for the elevators. I'm grateful that the colleagues I met with yesterday were so understanding and welcoming of a baby.

I'm hoping that I can continue to take the baby with me to professional meetings and gatherings as circumstances allow. I remember my mom the lawyer taking me with her to her office and to court when I was young. If I can do that, if I can to set an example and help change mindsets, maybe the business culture will change. Women who feel that they must disappear from their professions for months after a baby is born will either avoid those professions or avoid becoming mothers. If I can do both, so can others.

Baby Josephine says, "Fly me to the Moon, and let me play among the stars." - March 18, 2016

Space Baby Congratulates SpaceX on Another Successful Launch

Mars Mission Imagining with the Buzz Aldrin Space Institute

Last August, my undergraduate alma mater Florida Institute of Technology announced the creation of the Buzz Aldrin Space Institute with Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin and his son, Andy Aldrin. On Monday and Tuesday this week, I was excited to attend the inaugural Buzz Aldrin Space Institute Workshop with approximately 40 Florida Tech professors and invited guests. The topic of the workshop was the Aldrin Earth-Mars Cycler concept and, more generally, a human mission to Mars.

Buzz Aldrin opening up the workshop. - January 18, 2016

Buzz opened up the workshop on Monday morning discussing his cycler and his thoughts on spaceflight in general. I met Buzz three or four times previously and had heard him discuss the cycler, but this was the longest and most comprehensive talk I'd seen him give. His plan, Cycling Pathways to Occupy Mars, has evolved over the years and continues to evolve. I've read a few of the studies done to detail and analyze the plan, but I have more research to do in order to understand it all.

In brief, the cycler is a continuous motion spaceflight plan to periodically send cargo and crew to and from Earth and Mars, and also potentially tying in cis-lunar space, the Moon, and Mars' moon Phobos. The timeline, number of vehicles, number of astronauts, and even the types of vehicles used all seem to be in flux depending on studies being done. Buzz seems to be moving away from NASA's Space Launch System SLS (which he sees as a drain of money and wants to see defunded along with the International Space Station) and more toward commercial space industry utilization. Specifically mentioned were Bigelow Aerospace inflatable habitats. International co-operation also seemed to be a key component. The eventual plan is to establish settlements on Phobos and Mars.

The technical details don't appear to be fleshed out well enough to be a true mission architecture at this point. The concept is early-stage and needs refinement. Therefore, the current timelines stated are very optimistic. It's all a good start. In order for this concept to become a proposed mission, more work needs to be done. I look forward to seeing the concept progress.

The international relations need a lot of work. The presentations had countries closely partnering who hate each other (China and Japan, North and South Korea), close partners not working together (Japan and USA, Japan and Europe, China and Russia), and a Mars-interested country forgotten entirely (India). There was also a curious statement that the United States can't go to Mars without China. We've send robotic missions to Mars without China. We'll very likely need international partnerships for a human mission but not necessarily China. China would be a great space partner but I'm not seeing that happen anytime soon.

Most of the rest of the workshop were talks related to the theme in four categories: in-space systems; surface systems and operations; human factors, health, and safety; and international cooperation and public support. Talks included topics such as trajectories, regolith flow due to rocket plumes (similar to a project I did while in grad school), propulsion, autonomous maneuvering, magnetic shielding, habitat analogs and simulators, biomining, Martian terrain, teamwork, mental health (in Buzz's opinion, the #1 human factors concern), costs, and public outeach. Some discussions took unexpected turns. Regarding the mental health talk, I've never heard prisoners of war discussed at a space talk before!

The last few hours of the workshop were break-out session discussions in small groups. I took notes and ended up later presenting for the surface systems and operations group. We covered a lot ground but there's so much more to discuss! It really got me thinking.

The workshop also included dinner on Monday evening. My husband took care of the baby all day Monday and Tuesday, so I took Josephine to dinner with me. She met her first two astronauts: Buzz Aldrin and Sam Durrance. Buzz's 86^th birthday is today so we celebrated on Monday (the day after my birthday). It was a great opportunity to get to know everyone and exchange ideas. I'm pleased to have been involved and look forward to what BASI creates in the future.

Happy birthday, Buzz! cheer Josephine and I from the back - January 18, 2016

Josephine meets her first Moonwalker - January 18, 2016

Why I Took My Baby to a Professional Networking Event

I wasn't looking to make a statement. Initially I wasn't going to take her to the Florida Space Day pre-event reception. It's a professional event and bringing a baby would be seen as unprofessional, I concluded. My newborn is not yet taking a bottle, so for survival, she needs to be with me at all times. If being away from me isn't an option and taking her would seem unprofessional, then I would need to skip the event.

But then I began to question my own assumptions. Why would taking my baby to a professional event be unprofessional? When she is wrapped around my chest in three layers of what is essentially a very long scarf made to carry babies, she doesn't cry or fuss, she can barely be seen unless I uncover her. She silently eats and drifts off to sleep. She herself is not a disturbance. But her presence is a disturbance, one can say. Babies are a nearly universal conversation starter and many parents love sharing stories about their experiences. Baby talk when a baby is around is inevitable.

But that's no different to the disturbance my pregnancy caused. I didn't stay locked away when I was visibly pregnant. I was professionally active up until a week before the birth and even gave a talk 10 days before she was born. Anyone who saw my giant belly connected me to motherhood and baby talk was plentiful. No one deemed it unprofessional to attend professional events with my baby in my womb.

I polled social media, looking for outside opinions. Three men and two women thought that I should skip it while seven women thought that I should take her. Even my own mom the attorney mentioned that she brought me to hearings when I was a baby. I wasn't looking for consensus or majority opinion, I wanted perceptions and points of view.

In the end, I decided to attend. I sacrifice a lot for my child. I shouldn't sacrifice something that I want to do because of someone else's opinion of my child. The venue was a restaurant and the event was casual and celebratory. Nearly everyone in attendance had known me for years and had seen me pregnant over the months. Some were genuinely excited for me. Josephine was a big hit and did take up a lot of the conversation. But I also got to talk shop and be part of the Space Coast space community that I so very much love.

This is my first child but not the only child I hope to have. Should I as a mother be banished from professional society each time I have a little one? Although no one said anything negative, I'm sure that there were people in attendance who disapproved of my decision and think less of me professionally because of it. I'm unconcerned by their bias. My mind and my professional capabilities are not diminished because I reproduced.

More importantly, several people, mostly women but also one man, were grateful that I had brought the baby with me. One young lady a couple of years younger than me made a point to thank me twice throughout the night for being such an inspiration. It seems to me that babies at an event like this may seem unprofessional because it's uncommon. We just aren't used to seeing it. Although I did not set out to normalize it, I'm glad that my action may have contributed positively. Professional women should not be ashamed to also be mothers.

Florida Space Day kindly welcomed my little Josephine on their social media accounts with this photo.

Josephine and me at the Florida Space Day pre-event reception - January 7, 2016